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Hoagies' Blog Hop: Perfectionism
What is it? What does it look like? What can we do about it, as
parents? As perfectionists? Or is it a good thing?
Perfection? Is this a goal, or something to avoid at all
costs? Will it challenge you or stifle you?
How can we help those we love who struggle with perfectionism? Our
kids? Come to think of it, how can we help ourselves
Don't miss our previous Blog Hops on related topics, including
Overexcitabilities (OEs) and
If you'd like to read all our past Blog Hops or join our next Blog Hop, visit
Blog Hops for all our past and future topics. Special thanks to Pamela S. Ryan for our striking Blog Hop graphics!
Abandoning Perfectionism by
Gail Post in
- This word, perfection - and, of course, the meaning it entails - results
in suffering for those who strive to achieve and believe that they fall
short. Those who believe their self-worth hinges on their accomplishments
become entangled in the thought processes and behaviors of perfectionism...
Perfectionism on the Sly by Heather, The Fringy
- Perfectionism really can be boiled down to this . . . anxiously caring
more than is necessary for something of relatively little consequence.
Does anyone care if you received a 3.8 or a 3.4 gpa once youíve moved out of
the academic world? Nope. In my 10+ years as a psychotherapist, only 1
person has even asked me where I went to grad school. No one has asked me
how well I did while there.
Will people storm out of my home in disgust when they see the dried paint
drips down the wall of our newly redecorated office? Hasnít happened yet. I
canít imagine anyone has even noticed them except myself....
When Perfectionism, Anxiety, and Giftedness Go to College by Paula Prober,
Your Rainforest Mind
- Ellen was a fast talking, deep feeling, super insightful 20 year old.
She'd been a high achiever throughout her public school years. The work was
easy. She could listen to one teacher while she did her homework for
another. She was conscientious and energetic. Curious and imaginative.
She was also anxious. Her active rainforest mind came up with so many
worries and then worried about her worrying. She was also a perfectionist.
She had an innate desire to create beauty, harmony, justice, and precision...
Your Messy Kid Might Be a
Heather in Wonder Schooling
- Perfectionism, like so many things, doesn't always look the way we
expect it to.
Sometimes, perfectionism looks like someone spending hours and hours
laboring over draft after draft, making sure everything is just exactly so,
but for some, especially those who deal with executive function
difficulties, it may look exactly the opposite.
It may look like scribbling, because he knows no matter how hard he tries he
won't get it completely within the lines, so it's easier to not try in the
first place than to spend time and effort and then be disappointed...
Perfect is the Enemy of Finished by Linda Wallin,
Living with Geniuses
- One of the most common characteristics of individuals in gifted families
is perfectionism. The ability to imagine wonderful things can be a strength.
When a two-year old begins to walk, he can see how itís done, but may be
frustrated and angry that he canít do it well. Nevertheless, she will keep
trying until she masters the skill. Imagining a perfect world has been a
challenge for every generation ever, fairly recently by John Lenin. When you
go to the dentist or ophthalmologist, you want a perfectionist providing the
Unfortunately, perfectionism can be a problem, as well. In writing, it can
cause hesitation or procrastination. In relationships, it can cause nagging
or criticism. My own mother in her 90s wondered why none of her three
children had become tech millionaires. I told her to look at what her
children were doing - my younger brother was building low-income housing for
the poor, I was teaching special education in public schools and technology
in education at a nearby university, and my older brother was a database
manager for a large corporation. We werenít slackers! What my mother
couldnít see was the meaning our jobs gave our lives...
Letting Go Of Perfect: A Book Review by
- One of my "go to" books when I get questions about how to support students
with perfectionism is Letting Go of Perfect by Jill Adelson, PhD., and Hope
Wilson, PhD., (2009). In addition to discriminating between healthy and
unhealthy perfectionism, they also explore the myths about perfectionism
before going into detail into the types of perfectionism and strategies for
working with each type. Now while I typically don't ascribe to thinking that
tries to categorize individuals, mostly because people rarely fit neatly
into boxes, I have found that these categories have been helpful in
understanding the nuances of perfectionism, and offer a great starting point
for discussing potential strategies for students who may be struggling. The
book is well laid out for easy access to different themes and includes
strategies for both home and school, making it very accessible to both
teachers and parents...
Be ye therefore perfect by Jen,
- It is easy for me, as a gifted person, to get stuck with a fixed
mindset. I want to be the best at everything. I am used to being better than
average at most things, and I have a difficult time not beating myself up
when I don't master a new skill immediately. I've always wanted to be
But, I'm not perfect, and it really bothers me...
|If you'd like to read all our past Blog Hops or join our next Blog Hop, visit
Blog Hops for our past and future topics.
Special thanks to Pamela S. Ryan for our striking Blog Hop graphics!
June 01, 2019