Tidbits of Wisdom
|Anyone over twelve participates in the filling of the Easter baskets.|
|Santa Claus gifts come in the mail from their grandparents' addresses.|
|Children make and fill May day baskets to leave secretly on the doors of elderly neighbors. Those old enough to no longer have children at home receive those baskets and exclaim over their beauty to those children without letting on that they know who gave the gift.|
The world is full of giving gifts. Sometimes you give, sometimes you receive. Anonymous giving is even more fun. -- Kit
The question of the tooth fairy, Easter bunny, and Santa Claus... this is a dilemma that gifted children take very seriously. On the one hand, if these characters are not real, Mom and Dad have been lying to me! On the other hand... Here are a few answers that gifted parents prefer.
Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. Eight-year-old Virginia O'Hanlon wrote a letter to the editor of New York's Sun, and the quick response was printed as an unsigned editorial Sept. 21, 1897. The work of veteran newsman Francis Pharcellus Church has since become history's most reprinted newspaper editorial.
My little one seems to have always known about Santa. Or has she? When she was 4, we went to the theater to see Tim Allen in The Santa Clause... and for the longest time, she knew Tim Allen was Santa, and that he also was Tim "the tool man" Taylor... he's an actor. We're not sure how Santa fit in that. At the same time, her favorite movie was (and still is, every Christmas) Miracle on 34th Street. I guess you could we silently observed a "don't ask, don't tell" policy... and these days, she still does, so not to spoil all her cousins' holidays! -- Carolyn K.
Here's one that answers the Santa question, and so much more!
My daughter and I have had a lot of talks about "real truth" and "legendary
truth," the notion that a story could have never actually happened, but could be
telling us something important that we need to hear. She has known that the
tooth fairy was us almost from the first time she lost a tooth (but we both play
along just because it's fun), and since we're Jewish, we don't do the Santa
thing (I do agree with the poster who said something about magical creatures who
are more loving than real parents). She's been reading Robin Hood this summer,
and about the real king Richard, and more medieval history, and we've talked
about the differences and why people might still tell about Robin Hood even
though we are pretty sure that the stories never really happened.
I used to tell her about the Parenting Manual... the one you get in the hospital, that tells you exactly how to be a perfect parent. On page 14, it says that if they whine or tantrum, you can't give it to them, no matter how much you might want to. So when she'd tantrum, sometimes I'd just tell her that I would really like to help her, but I'm stuck on page 14. When she was about 4 years old, she looked at me really seriously, and said, "Y'know, Mommy, I don't think there really is a Parenting Manual." And I said, "You're right, but if there were one, on page 14, that's
what it would say." We still talk about the Manual and some of the other pages in it... -- Aimee
When I got fed up
with a bad habit my children were developing, such as correcting everyone, I
would first warn them, and then for a (short) set period of time, give them a
taste of their own medicine. This is actually difficult (because it goes against
what we have been socialized to do), but it is amazingly effective. The child is
first mildly annoyed, then shocked, and a bit hurt, to be criticized. But they
become much more cautious afterward. A bit of tough love, if everything else
fails! And later, when the lesson inevitably fades and the behavior starts to
reassert, a gentle reminder is usually enough.
Because this is 'tough love', don't forget to warn them ahead of time, and make a time limit. It makes it easier on the recipient and doable for the parent. -- Bridget
Please contact Carolyn
K. before reprinting any part of this page.
Last updated August 03, 2020