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Ridiculous Things I Heard Today
|
 | From the Kindergarten registration coordinator: "Stop reading with your son - it's our job to teach him that, not yours." |
| From the WPPSI tester: "His challenge in school will be social instead of academic." |
| From the first grade teacher: "It's not necessary to test kids this little - it's better not to know." |
| From the literacy consultant: "They all even out by third grade - he's just early because you have provided an exceptionally enriching environment." |
| From the kindergarten teacher: "My job is to get them all on the same page by the end of the year." |
| From the literacy consultant again: "Grade skipping is an awful thing to do to a child, especially because he will not hit puberty when everyone else does in middle school." |
| And my favorite, from the K teacher: "Your son is not perfect, you know." |
-- Patricia
I teach Grade 3
at the same school my son attends. My son is in in Kindergarten and just turned
6 years old. We made the decision not to accelerate him because of the excellent
pre-K and Kindergarten teachers that are at our school. They allow him to
explore as much as he wishes but still provide him a chance to develop the
structural needs that he has. Anyway, our son taught himself to decode and read
words at 3 1/2 years old and we quickly learned about his special abilities. At
4 he was given a K-BIT and scored off the charts. We thought about getting
further testing done but we felt the cost was too great to have it done
privately so we had him put on the School Divisions waiting list. Well, it took
1 1/2 years but he is finally getting a WISC IV done.
The Chartered Psychologist for the School Division stopped me in the staff room
to tell me that he was excited because my son was finally going to be tested. I
thanked him for the news and he left the staff room. A colleague of mine then
asked why my son was going to be tested. I responded it was to test for
giftedness so that an Individual Program Plan could be implemented for him in
subsequent years. My colleague then responded, "I didn't know he was gifted, he
seems to fit in so well with the kids in his class!" Like all gifted kids are
social pariahs or something.
Later that day another teacher had heard the news and told me, "Are you sure he
is gifted? I mean he does get very emotional at times and acts a little immature
at times as well." As if gifted children some how must always act older than
their peers. I thought about explaining the concept of Asynchronous Development
but then thought better of it. -- James
My son had terrible adjustment problems to kindergarten. After a long battle with the school, he was moved to a new classroom. Turns out the biggest problem in the first classroom, he was to "enthusiastic about learning and needed to learn to control his impulses." His crime, when she was teaching something new, he always wanted to ask questions and learn more. It was disruptive to the class for him to have so many questions. -- LV
I was chatting with a friend who's son is in 1st grade at the same school, and was called into a conference with the teacher last week. The teacher is concerned about her son's progress and wants to prevent him from moving up another reading level because his work is not inconsistent. Her proof that he is having trouble with his class work... last week he had all wrong answers on his math papers. The mom looked at the papers offered. The child had all the correct answers, but had written each answer in Roman numerals. -- LV
My son completed Stanford EPGY second grade in 5 days with 100% and has also been tested very gifted in math on WIAT & WISC. When I inquired about accelerating him as he was really bored, I was told that they would not accelerate beacuse he learns so fast that it really would not matter what grade he was in????? -- Brenda
My older son, very bright and high energy, with dyslexia, was told by his 2nd grade teacher that he had "lofty goals" to get straight As. When he started 3rd grade he was reading at a Kindergarten level, so we took him to a private tutor (he jumped 3 grade levels in a year). The school insisted that he did not need extra help, but had ADHD and "there were some great meds out there for him". They also told me that for a parent to work with a child on their homework (even a child with learning disabilities and high intelligence?) it set up "dangerous dynamics" and "led to anger problems". Needless to say, we refused to medicate. He's now in 6th grade, loves reading, excels at math, cross country, and wrestling (at a different school).
My youngest son was a fluent reader by the time he started Kindergarten. He was reading chapter books at home. I approached his teacher to ask for more difficult work, and was told that "she was not ALLOWED to give him chapter books in Kindergarten, and besides, he had an attitude because he KNEW he was smart!". -- Lynne
My son frequently complained in 2nd grade about the "kindergarten work." The funniest comment on one of his homeworks came when he was supposed to write “fact families” using the number 11. So he wrote “11 + 12 = 23, 12 + 11 = 23” etc. It was marked wrong because “those are not fact families, fact families only go up to 12.” Hmm, so 11 + 12 = 23 is an opinion?? -- Anne
A gifted teacher chimes in...
I am a gifted education facilitator in a middle school. When I approached the 8th grade math teacher about getting the 8th grade math books for a 6th grade student who had requested them, I was told, "We can't. If we give him these books, he'll just go home and learn it."
I still shake my head every time I think of it. Isn't that what we want all students to do...Learn!!! -- Mrs. Smith
Administrator opinions...
From Massachusetts: "We cannot allow [your daughter] to continue with EPGY because the curriculum is substandard to [our own] elementary math curriculum." (elementary school's math is better than Stanford's math program?)
"Gifties" take 1st amendment case to federal court
They were "gifted students" who studied their American history textbooks well enough to fight back when officials at Beaubien Elementary School allegedly threatened them with suspension and confined them to their rooms.
Their offense: Wearing a T-shirt with the word "Gifties" on it.
The school library aide told my Kindergartener that she couldn't check out a book because it was above her reading level. I happened to be there, volunteering to restack books. When I showed the aide my daughter's folder with her reading level marked on it (grade 3), the aide huffed that she had only scored that high on the reading test because I had helped her. I was taken aback and assured her that the teacher had given the test, and I hadn't even been at the school that day. She allowed that my daughter may actually be able to read at that level, but then chided me for encouraging her to read "those books". She said my child was missing out on great books at lower levels and besides, the library might run out of books for her. -- Heather
My son's third grade teacher called me at work, mid-day to report that my son was misbehaving terribly during class. When I asked for details she said, "He's deliberately rushing through his work and is finished before I even pass out all the papers." I asked about the grades on these papers... 100%.... When I suggested that she might give him extra work to do or perhaps >gasp< more challenging work she actually told me, "N needs to learn to work down to the level of the other students." ACK! -- LL
During a parent/teacher meeting with my daughter's grade 9 English teacher, we were discussing the importance of finding literature that kids really enjoyed reading in order to engage them more. I mentioned that my 9-year-old son was really interested in Shakespeare and had, in fact, requested a copy of his complete works. I was expecting a positive comment from this English teacher about this... Boy was I mistaken! Her response was: "WHAT? He likes Shakespeare at that age? Tell him to get a life!" -- Bev
I was told the reason my son comes home and asks to do math and work on "serious research" is just a ploy to get more parental attention. -- Tara
My 7-year-old son is doing pre-algebra at home. He is being required to do 4th grade work at school, even though he did that work last year. Last night, he came home with many problems wrong on a "multiplication with pictures" worksheet. When there were 3 groups of 2, he put 2 x 3 = 6, when the teacher wanted 3 x 2 = 6. So much for the commutative property... -- Brenda
My daughter's first grade teacher told me I should let her watch TV instead of playing, drawing, being outdoors or reading. -- Helen, teacher and parent
My daughter's elementary principal, in a meeting before our daughter transferred to her school for 1st grade, insisted that we should not teach our child anything related to a school subject, and we should not answer her questions. We were depriving her, the principal was adamant, of Nintendo and "a normal childhood." -- Carolyn K., yet again.
And yes, we did go out and buy a PlayStation after that conversation... which, to this day, is used only than 2-3 times a YEAR.
The same principal, at an IEP meeting, pointed out that the only reason our daughter was asking for more difficult class work and homework was that she was a spoiled child. Yes, after getting that PlayStation, I guess she was spoiled...
I’m now 43 years old and I still remember an incident from when I was 7 or 8 years old. As was usual, our teacher took us to the school library for the period. I picked out a book which I think was about 30 pages or so. I finished it in about 15 minutes and tried to return it to the desk. The librarian did not believe me when I told her that I had finished reading it. After all, how could I possibly finish a book in 15 minutes when that same book took another student a week to finish? What I wound up telling her was that I was bored with the book. Then I got in trouble for lying because I hadn’t been honest in the first place. The adults were more willing to believe that I was bored than to believe that I had finished the book in 15 minutes. -- Andrea
At my first conference with the teacher, I tried to gently inquire about getting her more challenging work. In class, she was only allowed to read out of the 2nd grade basal reader. I told the teacher that last year she had read Little Women. The conversation went like this:
Me: Well, R is a pretty good reader. Last year she read Little Women.
Teacher (huffily): Well, she couldn't possibly have read the whole thing!
Me: Yes, she did. She read it to the adult volunteers in the classroom.
Teacher (defensively): Well, she couldn't possibly have understood it!
Me: I believe she did. Several of the volunteers would tell me the questions she
would ask about it.
Teacher (now totally insulted): Well, you can't possibly think that was
appropriate!
Me (slow learner-only then realizing that this conversation is rapidly
degrading): Well, how about her math? Last year she was doing 2 and 3 digit
addition and subtraction. When will you get to subtraction this year?
Teacher: We will start doing 5 - 3 in January and will make subtraction books
then.
Me: What do you do with children who can already do that kind of math?
Teacher: Well, I am the gifted coordinator for the lower grades and I am trained
in Math Their Way, so they do math projects now and then. Believe me, your
daughter has no special abilities in math.
At that point I had to tell her that I have a master's degree in math and
science education at the elementary school level.
Teacher: Well, that must have been a VERY LONG time ago.
I was so insulted that I just had to leave.
I later went to the principal to ask her about what could be done. Remember, I was still trying to be friendly and cooperative.
Me: What do you do with children who seem to know all of the material that is
being taught in their class?
Principal: Well, the really bright ones just learn to smile and nod their heads
when they know all of the answers.
ARGHHHHHHHH! -- Laura, and many other parents have had very similar conversations!
When I signed my son up for pre-school, age 4, he saw the bear mascot on the sign. Well, we got in a discussion on what a mascot is. I took him to the university and showed him the mascot there, then we went back to the pre-school and looked at the bear again.
This time the principal was there. We got a tour, and I explained that the principal had all the stuffed bears in her office because that was the mascot. She told me, "they don't understand what a mascot is until at least age 6."
I gave her a strange look, how could she not know what kids could understand, I knew my son understood me, we had had great conversations on the very topic. -- Elizabeth
My son was having "behavioral problems" at school. The teacher seemed to nit pick about every little think he did. I suggested that he was bored and she flat out said NO!! I later had him tested and finally had support that he was both bored in school as well as gifted. I took the information back to the teacher and her response was "So what, I have an IQ of 135!! That does not mean anything." -- Madhu
I ended up at a Catholic college but was uninspired by the required theology courses one year. I noticed that a Lutheran college nearby had a two term sequence "Christian Ideals in Contemporary Society" that sounded much better than Sacrementology etc. So I got approval to take them instead. It was fun to go to two colleges actually. However, the pastor who taught the class was very suspicious. Why was taking these courses at his college? Was I planning to transfer? No. Was I a Catholic? Yes.
He assigned us a report on the theological implications of "Waiting for Godot". I loved the topic and immersed myself in it harvesting all the secondary literature in my college's library and in the large public library system of my suburban New York county. I read, used and cited about thirty books. However, I realized that many of my ideas were not in the secondary literature. For instance, I saw the names of the characters Gogo and Didi have the first syllables of the name for god in the Germanic and Romance languages. That is, the characters were the god they were waiting for.
Well, in this two-year Lutheran college none of my classmates used any secondary literature at all. I did not think much of their reports. However, all thirty of them got A's while I received a C grade. I was very perplexed. I went to the instructor and he explained that my grade reflected the fact that my paper was done by a university professor or professors rather than myself. At the time I had the idea that he imagined some sort of scheme to show that Catholic college students were better than students at his college or something. And that faculty at my college had actually written my paper for me or something. He raised the grade to a B but said that he had not changed his opinion that I had not written it. Other students explained that this instructor was considered one of the best at this college. I felt that I had no further recourse but remained angry for many years about it. -- Charlie
Update: After college, to forestall being drafted into the army during the Vietnam War, I went to NYU for an MBA. I aced most of my courses and was requested to apply for their doctoral program, which I did to my father's horror at my not becoming a hardware retailer and my mother's pleasure. I ended up a tenured professor at St. John's University in New York and have been a Fulbright scholar in Lithuania, published the best-selling textbook in my field in the eighties, and am happy as a crustacean.
My daughter's private school gives timed
math worksheets, and she finished the second grade level a while ago (well
before anyone else in her grade -- this despite the fact that she has been
skipped a grade). The other day she finished the THIRD grade level -- again,
before anyone else in second grade. She's worked very hard at this, studying
hard every night to memorize her math facts. She was very proud of herself.
So how do they reward her for this achievement? They have her start the third
grade level over again, that's how. Despite the fact that she finished that
level in just a few weeks and found it very easy, they are going to have her do
it again! And they told her she'd have to do it again in third grade, too!
What possible incentive could she have to study that hard again?? -- Ellen
My daughter, at a very early age in her private preschool and at home, had grasped the concept of multiplication and division. When she entered public school, she had to return to simple adding and subtracting, doing problems by counting beans. She complained constantly, as we did. Her teacher said she could not do multiplication until the other children in the class -- all 19 of them -- were ready. Needless to say, we withdrew her from the school. -- Debbie
At our IEP meeting, the gifted teacher was very encouraging about my 4th grade daughter's performance and abilities and enthusiastic about her reading books of her choice while the other students finished their work. But, she said, your daughter gets so involved in the book, that when the time comes to switch from, say, math to spelling, she does not notice and has to be summoned several times. (It's hereditary. Mom used to throw balled up socks at me.) Therefore, the only item in the IEP - the GIFTED IEP - to be given extra attention, was the suggestion by the teacher that she use a "special signal", such as a police whistle or alarm clock, to get my daughter's attention at these "transitional times" so that she could start the next lesson with the class.
Can you imagine? Being singled out in class with a whistle, like a bad dog?
I suggested to this gifted-child-education-specialist that I did not think that was an appropriate goal for a gifted student. Instead we should promote her innate writing skills. I swear, it took her ten minutes to figure out how to translate that into education-ese so it could go on the form. -- Debbie
At our IEP meeting for our rising 1st grader, the principal (yes, the infamous "feet too small" principal) stated that "Gifted is like a light switch - it's either on or off." In one quick statement, she eliminated all the levels of giftedness, and declared all gifted kids identical, contrary to all the research, and even contrary to her own state's gifted education law! -- Carolyn K.
My 7-year-old second grader was accelerated in reading, math, and spelling last year in first grade, but her teacher for second grade refused to do so. When I discussed my daughter's boredom, she replied, "Hey, I told her that the reading book she is using is 3rd grade level. You'd think she'd be satisfied with that..." (My daughter has been tested at a 5-6 grade reading level). -- K
When my daughter went for her interview to be admitted to school (aged just over 4), the headmistress said, "She reads beautifully, but unless she learns to skip and jump before she starts school, she'll fall behind". Huh?
This girl reads better than most adults I know, has worked out for herself the concept of odd and even, spells intuitively...the same headmistress insists that my daughter will also need to learn phonics and so forth once she starts school...even though she's been reading chapter books, and using correct pronunciation and having full comprehension for 2 years...School's policy is 6 months probation for every new student. Our policy is 6 months probation for the school! When I told the headmistress at the school open day about my daughter's reading, her answer was (and how did I know she would say this?), "Oh yes, we have a child in kindergarten this year who came to us reading already". Yes, but did this child also come to you counting in German, and working out complex maths problems in her head? -- Lisa
I am a family doctor with at least three gifted grandchildren. Recently, a mom told me that the school wanted her 9-year-old third grader on Ritalin for "ADD." She described his behavior, and I asked what kind of math and reading he did at home? She told me about the testing he had last year, and he's probably very or profoundly gifted. I'm so mad! What would the teacher do if she had to sit for six hours a day in a third grade class? -- Dr. Lou
In interviewing high schools for my son, I was just told that he doesn't qualify for GT any more because they can't be sure that he's still gifted after 4 years at home! -- Psam
After my 11-year-old daughter was welcomed into a community college but wanted to continue in a few classes at school, the middle school counselor nixed our plan, saying "she needs a gym credit to get into high school." The counselor needed me to point out that since my daughter had already won admission into college, we weren't concerned about whether she was admitted into high school. -- Wenda
After years of advocating for subject acceleration for my 9-year-old profoundly gifted son, he received three subject accelerations this year. However this meant he would no longer receive any gifted ed. services. When I asked why, I was told that skipping grades/classes cost the district too much money.
Read on: "There is no mandate for gifted education services in this state. School districts are not legally required to meet the educational needs of these students nor are the students legally entitled to receive any services. The 150-minute per week minimum applies only to public school districts who chose to participate in the reimbursement program provided by the state." (But this district does participate!)
"Also, it is extremely unusual for school district to agree to promote a 9 year old student to the 8th grade for any amount of time, much less 3 class periods per day. This works out to 750 minutes per week, far exceeding the amount of differentiated instructional services received by most gifted students in this state. Additionally, as your son is in regular junior high classes, this service is not eligible for reimbursement. The district is providing this highly specialized, accelerated service at it's own expense. This is also unusual for school districts in our state. It has been my experience that many districts are reluctant to provide any service, regardless of the size or scope, if that service is not eligible to be reimbursable by the state." -- Kathryn
In 2nd grade after receiving my oldest son's results from the Otis-Lennon, I asked the teacher about the gifted program or accelerated learning. Her response was, it's only one test we can't base anything on that. The same child was tested by a private psychologist and could read and comprehend at a 11th grade level. -- Cheryl
My youngest tested with the Stanford Binet L-M and ranked at the 99th percentile. When I approached the first grade teacher on his inability to read to her (he was afraid of her), her answer was he was immature. When I told her that he's been cooking since age three and was most certainly not immature her response was just look at how small he is. I am five foot one and 95 lbs... I guess I'm immature too. -- Cheryl
My experience with a cooperative experience in high school biology (note, this is decidedly NOT a good use, or even a reasonable use, of the term cooperative learning, but in retrospect, I'm pretty sure this was how this teacher justified the thing):
We took our *tests* cooperatively. This allowed the teacher to give "legitimate" passing grades to failing people, as long as he grouped them with someone who would set the curve. Guess who that lucky soul was. But, since there was to be no "cheating" (wait to roll on the floor laughing till I get done) we couldn't communicate, actually just all work together, or even actually just let the star pupil do the darn test, no, we passed it person to person every 3 or 4 minutes. So, I would start, write furiously for 4 minutes, sit for 12 while the other three stared at the page and added little to nothing, write furiously for 4 minutes, and so on.
Fortunately, I still set the curve for the rest of the groups, but I still harbor some resentment that I was expected to, and it's been 16 years.
So, make sure you don't, definitely, let this sort of thing go on. I didn't tell my mom till later; she was justifiably furious when I did mention it much later. -- Lara
My son's first grade teacher told me "Once they know how to read, there's really nothing left for me to teach them." -- Denise
My gifted daughter's second-grade teacher routinely assigns her picture books (despite the fact that she'd read, among other things, the first Harry Potter book in first grade). When I protested, I was told: "Picture books usually contain very good ideas!"
And chapter books don't??? -- Marcy
My 7-year-old 2nd grade daughter cries as she is made to read the 2nd grade take home reader three times aloud (it's a timed test). I explained to her teacher that she reads chapter books. The teacher agreed to try to send home the 3rd or even 4th grade take home books instead. Well, now she has to do those AND the 2nd grade one!
I explained to the principal that she was just tested independently, is EG (160+ range) and this situation with the take home books is one reason we no longer trust the promise to "enrich in the regular classroom" and want her grade-skipped. His response: "Well, just so you know, next year she will be in 3rd grade, and we have a pullout program for the g/t kids in 3rd grade and above... it will not be the right fit for her, since it, too, requires more work."
I got 2 messages from the principal's statement: First, he said "next year in 3rd grade" meaning, probably, that the grade skip right now is not going to happen. Second, he actually thought her objection to the 2nd grade reader was an objection to more work?! How about, if she is handling the 3rd or 4th grade readers in "adequate" time, WHY must she do "extra" work (the 2nd grade reader which made her cry in the first place) too? -- Considering Homeschooling
My daughter's 3rd grade teacher got into mucho trouble when she gave her kids the 4th and 5th grade spelling books since they found their grade level books too easy. The reason? The middle school teachers didn't offer advanced spelling words. -- Teresa
As a 4 year old in Kindergarten I was fortunate enough to have a teacher the first half of the year that recognized my reading readiness and worked very hard at finding the time to work with me and allowed me to progress at my natural pace. Upon moving to a different school the second half of the year, I wasn't allowed to read AT ALL in Kindergarten...after all that doesn't start until 1st Grade. 1st Grade rolls around and here we go again, starting all over with the same beginning readers that I had already completed a year prior. At this point I was tested for the gifted program and was found to have an IQ of 150 and to have a reading AND comprehension (so much for those who say that early readers have poor comprehension) level of 12th grade, which was as high as they could rate me.
What did my wonderful teacher do upon learning of this? Decided to offer me the enriching plan of reading these beginning readers into a tape recorder. Yea, that's it...that will serve to keep me motivated! -- Cindy
My 4th Grade teacher actually took away the copy of "Roots" that I was reading in class because "Regardless of what your test scores say, you can't possibly understand this book." -- Cindy
My daughter was in first grade and bored to tears. The school district said they could give her second grade work but then by the time she is in second grade she would be doing third grade work. It would be an ongoing stream of confusion for her. They advised us that we would be better off putting her on Ritalin so she would be more accepting of the class. -- Dee
Editor's note: This isn't ridiculous, it is frightening. And not uncommon, which is more frightening. Leave the diagnosis of neurological disorders to the neurologists!
When my son was in first grade, he was very unhappy. He had loved his first three years at the same school, so we wanted to find out why he was miserable. I made a surprise visit to his classroom. My son was sitting with a group of children learning the alphabet. My son had been reading and writing for three years at this point and had read all the classroom materials available to him in the first month of class. When I questioned the teacher about this, she said, "I ran out of things for him to do." It was September! -- Marie
When our son went to the district's "gifted program," we felt our child was still not being challenged. At a parent-teacher conference, we asked the teacher about more challenging work, and we were told, "When his behavior improves, we will give him more challenging work." The reason he was having behavior problems in the first place was because he was finishing work earlier than the rest of the class and was bored. -- Marie
I approached the school district gifted coordinator seeking more math help in the classroom for my 4th grade daughter, or possibly a "pull-out" math program designed specifically for her. This was their response.
"Your daughter is already in our gifted program and as such has no needs that have not been met by this district."
"Your daughter doesn't qualify for the the Middle School Algebra II curriculum and Geometry classes because she only scored at the 85% on our exams in these subjects, she needs to score at the 99% to qualify for them."
Never mind that she scored a 100% on Pre-Algebra and Algebra I, that her 3rd and 4th grade teachers had taught her without the school district's permission. My question to them was this, "Do you mean to tell me that my daughter has to Already Know the material before she's allowed to take the class? Forgive me but isn't that the reason you take a class, to LEARN new material?"
Their response was, "We don't think she's capable of learning and handling that material because she doesn't know all of it yet." Then they quickly changed the subject and left the room. I watched with my mouth hanging open as 4 adults practically ran out of the room. -- Lisa
Our 9-year-old son attends a private school. He usually finishes his work well ahead of the class. For various reasons (which we will never comprehend) he is rarely given additional or more appropriate work to do. In order to fill in time his teacher asks him to "twiddle his thumbs" and has quite literally shown him how to do it while he waits for the rest of the class to finish. -- Trish
The middle school Principal's response to our request to have our son skip a grade was, "But it will hurt his chances for an athletic scholarship."
The child in question is rather clumsy and has no interest in sports! -- Cheryl
On why they won't differentiate or compact the curriculum for my 6th grader, from the classroom and special education teachers who both claim to have gifted kids of their own: "But it's good for him to be bored - it prepares him for real life." -- Dana
At a parent/teacher/principal conference, the principal wanted to get my 1st grade daughter reading, reading, reading. She was a very fluent and avid reader since age 4 so I asked about science, history, math. The principal told me that we don't want to accelerate her in those areas because what good would it do -- in a few years I could tell "all my friends" that my 4th grader can do trigonometry? Yep, obviously he doesn't know what it's like to parent a gifted child -- we brag to all our friends who have "normal" kids - NOT! -- Tracy
At a conference held to discuss accelerating my 1st grade highly gifted daughter, the principal stated that he recently watched my daughter and noted her handwriting was that of a "normal" 1st grader. I felt his comment was severely critical. Knowing that my daughter has beautiful handwriting I later questioned her, and was shocked to find that she had completed the last 2 months of school with her left (non-dominant) hand!
1st grade teacher: "You can't write in cursive because the other kids don't understand it."
2nd grade teacher: "You can't write in cursive until later this year when I teach it!" -- Tracy
A Pre-K teacher explaining why I shouldn't let my 5-year-old read books on her own...
"Well, actually, I really don't think that reading at an early age is such a good thing. I believe it leads to bad eyesight..."
"Developmentally, she's just not ready..." she adds. -- Able
If your daughter reads so much and does so much maths at home, she is going to feel drained of energy.
Your daughter probably reads much better than any 5-year-old but she cannot comprehend what she reads. (The joke is she can answer comprehension questions.)
Don't allow her to watch news programs where they talk about floods, poverty, etc. Introduction of such things at an early age may even make a child become a criminal. (This is because my daughter went and told her teacher that people in Mozambique suffer so much due to floods and poverty.) -- Fred
One of my most vivid memories is of the plural of dwarf. This was in 4th grade - an extra credit question that I desperately needed to pass a spelling test (my worst subject, I could not spell "Spelling" without recourse to the cover of the book). It was my position that the plural of dwarf was dwarves. Mrs. S. insisted on dwarfs. I showed her my copy of The Hobbit - dwarves. Mrs. S. discounted Mr. Tolkien on the grounds that "the British don't speak real English." -- Karen
When I showed the "Gifted and Talented" teacher in my daughter's school the results (over 170) of my daughter's recent WISC and Stanford-Binet LM testing by an independent psychologist, she couldn't believe the school's group tests had been off by more than 50 points.
Her comment was, "Well, if it was up to me I'd let your daughter in the program, but I don't want to open up a can of worms. What if every parent whose child was rejected from the program went out and had their child evaluated independently and came back with results like these?!"
She continued, "I've been doing this for over two years now, and this has never happened before!" -- Mec
My kindergartener has been losing interest in school, and sometimes even feigns illness so as to not go to school. We've had him tested and know that he is gifted. The school recently conducted more testing (as part of a speech therapy evaluation), and they ran out of testing material before they finished the test. His teacher has been giving him some enrichment and has almost exhausted her resources. I recently spoke with his teacher about his dislike of school, and asked her input for making school more enjoyable for him.
The next week, we were informed of a Gifted Services presentation for parents. When we asked about the nature of the meeting we were told by the gifted resources teacher (who knows our son and his abilities) that the meeting was for parents of children referred to the gifted program, and since our son had not been referred, it really wasn't for us. I asked why our son had not been referred, even though I had been speaking to the principal about the gifted program before the school year started.
The response: because our son was expressing some dislike with school, the gifted resource teacher did not want to burden him with entry into the gifted program. She was concerned that this would cause him to dislike school even more, and they did not want to rock the boat! -- Kristen
When I approached the principal about advancing my son, he said "If I do it for him, others will want to advance their kids too." I just couldn't believe this when I heard it, like that's a good reason to torture my son. The principal readily admits my son could easily be advanced. -- Joni
There's a little kid in my kindergarten class. I noticed that he was very bright, and, having had a problem with being too advanced for all my classes through grade school, I arranged to have him tested. He tested almost off the charts for his age, and I went to talk to his parents, telling them that we should probably come up with something to do with him, such as acceleration.
His parents refused. "We want him to have a normal childhood," they said.
Right, like sitting in class bored is really normal for a 5-year-old kid. -- a caring kindergarten teacher
Another thing we talked about in our meeting with the principal was the progress our son was making. One month ago when we first informed them of our son's WISC score, we were assured our son was working at an appropriate high-first-grade level. I told them I honestly felt our son could achieve higher than that, and if they were to really challenge him they might discover he was capable of more.
At last night's meeting I was told his math and reading skills have shown a huge improvement in the last month. When I questioned whether this was due to him finally being presented with more challenging material I was told that was not the reason. That instead, "It's not uncommon for things to suddenly click in a 1st grader". Problem is, last spring he was reading more difficult books than they assigned to him at the beginning of this year.
<SIGH> -- Kimberly
"Not all college classes are hard and don't deserve honors credit. I've had some pretty easy ones when I went to school. You aren't getting honors credit for your classes." -- my HS principal.
Taken out of context, this sounds fine. In context, this is in response to: "I'm taking Calculus and Analytic Geometry III, Calculus Based Physics, English comp and Engineering Mechanics and I'd like honors credit for them." Keep in mind that I earned honors credit for the HS level prerequisites. When I pushed the issue, the response was:
"We can't give you honors credit for classes that other students don't have the opportunity to take." -- My HS principal
The result? I did not receive honors credit for his courses, in a school where honors course grades are weighted, an "A" earning 5.0 instead of 4.0, etc. As a result, I could not earn the first or second highest GPA in this high school, forfeiting an automatic college scholarship.
The irony of the whole situation is that my class was the last class to use that grading system, and that decision was made before I made issue of anything. -- Dan
Last night we met with the principal. He was explaining to us (like we wouldn't already know this) that people have multiple intelligences and one the least important in determining later success in life is IQ. Ok, I knew what he was driving at with that one.
But then he said, "Having a high IQ doesn't mean the child will learn any faster." Huh? Isn't that the very definition of what a high IQ is? He also said that although a young child may read at a high school or college level, they can't comprehend what they're reading. Perhaps some of you should let him talk to your kids! -- Kimberly
Did you know that the speed with which a child completes written work indicates the appropriateness of the work, as well as the child's enjoyment of, or motivation to do, an assignment? Our daughter's school reluctantly allows her to do homework from a distance learning program in lieu of certain in-class activities. While our daughter is radically accelerated in the subject, and demands to continue the distance learning program, she is very slow in any activity involving handwriting.
Yesterday, the teacher informed us that our child works so slowly, so laboriously on this written work it means she is not engaged, not enjoying it, and would clearly rather be with her peers (than do this awful written work her pushy parents are making her do).
You heard it here first.... -- Hope
When I attempted to get my four-year-old's preschool to consider taking her in first grade rather than kindergarten next fall (she reads Beverly Cleary, and does addition and subtraction in her head) the teacher strongly discouraged me for those dreaded "socialization reasons." She added that HER daughter had been accelerated and had graduated, as valedictorian of her high school class, at sixteen -- but she added, "It was really hard for her. She graduated before she got her driver's license!" Insane but true... -- Ellen
I recently received my daughter's report card - she has a perfect average. The teacher's written comment on the card was "I would like to see {student} exert more effort in her work." The principal wrote beside the teacher's comment "Great grades, remember effort counts."
Um... give her harder work, that she asks for all the time, and you will see her come alive and show effort. -- Isabelle
Editor's note: How much more effort is needed to get better than perfect grades???
Her third grade teacher tells me in parent conference, "I don't know what I can do with her. She tested at the 12th grade reading level. This is an elementary school. We don't have any 12th grade materials here." -- frustrated mom
Exclusive private school accommodates gifted students by busing them once a week to the public school pull out gifted program!!! And HOW much are we paying for this school??? -- frustrated mom
Like the time the Special Ed. teacher told me that it didn't matter if my son's needs were being met because "School is really only a very small part of their lives." -- Suzy
My personal favorite is "I have to hold the gifted kids back or they'll be BORED in middle school". Like they aren't going to be anyway. -- Kerry
The best one I have run across so far was from my son's kindergarten teacher, written on his progress report:
"He is very bright and this may distract from his learning."
This was the first time I have ever heard intelligence cited as a learning disability. What she was talking about was his unwillingness to participate in the standard kindergarten activities. I thought it would have been better phrased as:
"He is sometimes bored stiff, and doesn't bother hiding the fact." -- Michael
So far my favorite was "Why should we test her we already know she's gifted," a statement from the evaluation specialist when we wanted to know why our daughter was unhappy in school and the pull out program. -- LeighAnn
My son was refused advancement to 5th grade math because (among other things) he didn't know that the Math problem with 2 boxes with 3 items in each box was supposed to be 2x3 not 3x2. -- Susan
"Three year-olds do NOT get bored!" (From a preschool director)
"Children have to learn how to write before they can learn to read." (From a kindergarten teacher)
And, my favorite: "It doesn't matter when a child learns to read, because they all catch up by third grade." (From a school administrator) -- Lee
In response to the question: "What are the child's academic needs?" M's 2nd grade teacher replied, "Being above grade level, I don't see that she has any real academic needs."
Another 2nd grade teacher tried to put M in her place by saying, "You're not the smartest kid in the school, you know." To which M thoughtfully replied, "I know. There are a lot of smart kids here, and you should be helping them, too. Talk to my mom about it, she knows a lot about what smart kids need." -- Katherine
I was told to be sure to "let him be a child" - like sitting bored to tears in a classroom was part of an idyllic childhood! -- Meredith
Our gifted ed teacher, after looking at my son's results from the Otis-Lennon test (he missed nothing on the test), said "Well, this could be due to the intellectual stimulation at home ... the other kids will probably catch up to him in a year or two." Catch up to a 150+ IQ? -- CAO in Texas
We were told that L had "missed some math fundamentals" in his skip from Kindergarten to second grade. At the ensuing conference, we asked what they were so we could remediate.
Teacher: "Oh, he doesn't know how to do all the Everyday Math
activities."
Us: "Does he understand the math behind the games?"
Teacher: "Absolutely, he's one of the best math students in the class. He's
asking for more and harder math all the time. But he doesn't know how to do it
the way he's supposed to."
Us: "But he's getting the right answers?"
Teacher: "Yes, he's just doing it in his own way."
Us: "You mean he knows how to do the work, he just hasn't figured out the
math publisher's pedagogy?"
Teacher and principal: (with great relief that we seem to "understand"
the problem at last) "Yes! That's it exactly! He has to learn how to play
the games the way the publisher wants him to." -- Anonymouse (a little
mouse told me :-)
This 'ridiculousness' is more frightening than the rest, because it is not just something silly someone said, but a school policy prohibiting a gifted child from being taught!
A dear friend of mine with a gifted child has been told that even though they agree that eighth grade math would be the most appropriate, they will only skip "D." up to sixth grade math, because they might "run out" of math courses before he gets to high school and then the poor child would not be able to graduate since he would not be able to get enough "math credits". This is a new "policy" started after this happened to another gifted child just a couple of years ago.
"P.L." ran out of offerings at the local high school and began to take calculus and chemistry at the local college. The high school refused to recognize the college credit and apply it towards his graduation! "D" is the second child (that I know of) that has suffered being held back by what is being bitterly referred to around here as the "P.L." syndrome -- the child is too gifted for the system to cope.
The only good thing to come from all this is that "P.L." was accepted to Harvard this fall despite our local school system's best efforts to keep him from getting a diploma. His parents found a state supported boarding school "only" 6 hours from home for gifted math and science students that had enough courses that "P." could earn the state required number of "credits." -- Sherron
On a note home from the first grade teacher, for getting in trouble:
"Since he finishes his work so fast he either scribbles on his paper or plays with things on his desk which distracts those around him." -- Bridget
As my first grader begged her teacher for something to learn, or even to do, the teacher told my daughter that she had already learned everything she needed to know and that she didn't have to teach her anything more. It was October and apparently the teacher did not intend to offer this child anything more - ever. Most of that day, like others before it, was spent sitting with the child having virtually nothing at all to do. She was not allowed to bring things from home or read a book because it might look too interesting to the other children. Imagine that! -- Becky
My son's kindergarten teacher said she talked with some other teachers and they all agreed that I shouldn't teach my child how to read and write before he starts first grade (in Israel kids learn reading and writing in first grade and not in Kindergarten, and he is now reading and writing in #2 class level). I told her that I didn't teach him reading and writing, he taught himself (which is true), and she said I shouldn't let him progress in it.
Well, how do you suppose you can prevent a gifted 5.5 year old from learning on his own things such as reading or writing? -- Michal
And then there's assorted absurdities...
| ...the first grade teacher who told a student he read with too much expression. |
| ...the fifth grade math teacher who told us we let our child read too much. |
| ...the principal who explained that our daughter needs to repeat a year in
math because she's "too intuitive." |
My child, then in 2nd grade, had tested at the 8th grade level on the math subtests of the Woodcock-Johnson achievement test. I tried advocating for him with the math teacher, who considered this for a moment and thoughtfully replied, "I can't teach your child, I have to teach the curriculum." -- Zelda
J. had been asking for more challenging math in school. Specifically, she wanted to learn division. She had been asking for it for three years. We were told not to teach it to her, because then she would be bored when she learned it in school. When we finally had her achievement level tested with out of range tests, though we had been careful not to teach her and she hadn't yet learned it in school, somehow she knew how to do division. When we pointed this out to the Assistant Principal she said, "You see. They will learn despite us!" -- Leslie
"E's first grade teacher did what? Let him do 2nd grade math on his own? Now what am I going to teach him???" - his 2nd grade teacher, who decided he really needed to work on interpersonal problems (due to teasing, frustration, and attitude)
Even the school nurse gets into the act... The nurse said "Don't worry, you only have a cold. It's not like you have a virus or anything." -- Angel
I am 14 years old and have been accelerated one grade level. I am currently in 10th grade. I am taking my second year of college English through the Advanced Placement program as well as Advanced Placement Calculus. But, because after this year I will have already taken the highest level of classes my public high school offers, I will not be able to achieve the required credits for high school graduation. And since I am not old enough to drive to the community college for the English and Math I will have to take next year, I cannot take classes there during the regular school year. This means that I have to take two classes each summer for the next two years. What a reward for my achievement.
When I questioned the logic of it all, my high school counselor told me, "Well, you shouldn't be so smart. It makes it difficult for everyone. If you would have just taken normal classes in middle school, we wouldn't have this problem." -- Lande
At our parent teacher conference, the teacher, who is NOT a psychiatrist, had decided she thought our son had Asperger's Syndrome, a mild form of autism. Based on what? Well, he was unusually focused on work (when interested, of course), not very socially adept and sort of solitary, an early reader, a child who enjoyed noticing patterns, and interested in numbers. -- Lara
Editor's note: this is more scary than anything else. Today in the U.S., some educators attempt to diagnose AD/HD, though they have no training as doctors. This incident shows that at least this particular teacher, has moved on to diagnosing other, potentially more serious, disorders.
And don't those symptoms (only a subset of the significant symptoms of Asperger's Syndrome, a very real disorder) sound just a little like the characteristics of a gifted child?
In kindergarten my son colored a picture of a seal with the letter "S" at the bottom representing the sound for "S". The paper had a large handwritten admonishment not to use pencil on a "coloring" paper. The seal was colored in with crayon, but J had made stripes along the "S" in pencil. As I discussed his papers with him, he said "This S looks like a snake and that starts with S and so do the stripes I drew on him." I hope his creativity never gets squashed like his teacher's has. -- Sond
In our school district if a child wants to grade accelerate s/he has to take an achievement test. If the child has never been taught the material then s/he has to score 90% to pass that grade. If the child has had prior instruction at that grade level then s/he ONLY has to make a 70%. (The premise, I assume, is that teachers make kids dumber?) -- Name Withheld
My son's giftedness was impossible to hide. He'd recognized the entire alphabet and all numbers at 7 months of age, at 4 figured there should be a way to mount a toothbrush on a motor and fasten it to bathroom cabinets for people who couldn't use their hands or arms, at 7 he figured out negative numbers in the back seat of a car in the dark--addition, subtraction and multiplication.
The next month his 2nd grade teacher told me she couldn't see signs of giftedness in him. Rather, she thought he might be somewhat retarded because he talked out of turn, read the dictionary instead of doing monotonous drills, had sloppy handwriting, wouldn't stay seated, and forever talked or sang to himself about the wonderful facts of the world he was discovering. The book he liked most to read at the time was the l984 Encyclopedia of World Diplomacy, a book that lists everything anyone wanting to travel, do business, or have influence in a foreign country needs to know. It didn't dawn on her that this might indicate giftedness. Instead, she drew circles on the blackboard one inch higher than his nose and made him stand for hours with his nose in the circle -- as punishment for every sign of giftedness he showed!
Then in February she called me crowing, "You won't believe what your son did today!" He had instantaneously, in his head, figured out how to determine how old George Washington would be that year and gotten the correct answer. That, she figured, might indicate he could be gifted. And that made him HER discovery of the year... -- Michele
Our family of 3 highly gifted sons has been homeschooling through our local district for many years. My oldest is finishing seventh grade now and attending the local community college part time. We scheduled an interview with the independent study director of our public schools to determine the path to follow for a high school diploma. Since my son will be finishing Calculus C (EPGY) this summer, we asked about math credits. The administrator told us our son would not qualify for a diploma because he could not get enough math credits from the high school when he was high school age! He then told us that all the high school and college level courses he had already taken would not "count" because he was too young when he took them! He suggested there was no way to earn a high school diploma in our district for our son and we should just help him "ease" into college! -- Doug
One especially memorable Ridiculous Thing that I recall happened to me in middle school. The class had been assigned papers to write the previous week; the corrected papers had been handed back out, and the teacher announced that we were to spend this class period correcting our grammar, mechanics and usage and making fair copies of the corrected papers. I checked my paper, and, as I'd expected, I found that I had made no errors. (I was the daughter of an English teacher; at home, I graded other students' 12th-grade grammar exercises!) So I went up to the desk and asked the teacher whether I might go to the library.
The teacher stared at me. "Why, no, Meredith. Weren't you paying attention? You need to correct your mistakes and make a fair copy of your paper."
"Ma'am, " I said, "this *is* a fair copy. I made no mistakes."
"Nonsense!" the teacher snapped. Roughly, she grabbed my paper, crumpling it a bit, and looked it over. Just as I'd claimed, she found no mistakes.
"May I go to the library?" I asked again.
"Certainly not!" the teacher said. "You have been a very bad girl. The only reason you made no mistakes was that you chose to write a paper which was too easy for you. You are both lazy and disobedient, and I won't stand for that in my class, do you hear me? You sit back down, and you write a fair copy of that paper, and I want to see your pen moving every minute of this class period, you hear me? And, next time, make more mistakes!"
I wish I were making the above up, but I'm not. -- Meredith
After telling his teacher that he was bored with math, my Grade 3 son brought his Grade 2 (different school and teacher who believed in doing more than the "bare minimum") math book in to prove that he had done all the work in Grade 2 he was now expected to do in Grade 3. The teacher angrily looked at us and said "It's wrong when teachers teach more than the curriculum demands.... It makes teaching too hard for the next teacher." -- Bev
I remember when my wife came back from the first parent teachers evening meeting when they had the following to say about our eldest who was in nursery, "X, well what can we say, X is X, academically he is fine, but he has no imagination and he doesn't know how to play."
It's a shame they did not realise that he was highly gifted. -- L
A friend's son received a progress report with this written on top: "Your son reads too much at home. Please have him read less." Great advice from a teacher!!
My personal experience at my son's school that has a happier ending. Although he has been able to read since he was four, he only chose picture books from the school library. When I asked him why, he told me Kindergartners could only choose books to a certain line on the floor in the school library - not one centimeter further! - so he chose the ones with the best pictures. When I asked the librarian about the rule, she told me it was because they didn't want the kids to go through all the books too early or they'd have nothing to read when they were older. The rule has since been changed, and we've started anonymously donating new books for older readers. -- Barbara
We didn't get the "you won't be able to get your driver's license" argument when my son (8.8, rising 4th) skipped first grade...we got it when we asked for more challenging math in 3rd grade!
His teacher told us that if she gave him 4th grade math, he'd finish the school system's math sequence as a sophomore, and then I'd have to quit my job to drive him to the university because he wouldn't be old enough to drive yet. Yup. We won't give your son a subject acceleration this year because you might have to drive him to school eight years from now. -- Lori
A couple of times my 3rd grade son brought in math he'd done at home for fun (4th - 6th grade level SolveIt worksheets and problems he asked me to create). Her comment: "That's nice. You'll learn how to do that in 5th grade." (completely ignoring the obvious!) -- Lori
Discussion with school:
They: "6th grade math is out of the question, hormones and all. We may
consider 4/5. If we put her into 6th grade math and science what will we do next
year?"
Me: "Let's not worry about the future let's concentrate on meeting her
needs this year."
They: "Exactly, that's our philosophy."
???
I brought copies of her 6th grade math final (95%), and all the strands she's
covered with "weak" areas highlighted for the 3/4 math teacher.
Teacher: (sniff) "My this is quite (pregnant pause) impressive." (not
in a friendly tone).
Me: "Actually, the intent is to provide you with information on what areas
she has already covered so that you feel comfortable in accelerated
placement."
Teacher: "Thank you for sharing this with me. I'll be sure and look it
over, but I can't make any promises."
Teacher: "Please leave the education of your daughter to us...it's our
job."
Followed by: "Maybe your daughter needs to learn how to slow down." --
Kristine
(Editor's note: No, Kristine and Carolyn K. are not the same person, nor do they live in same school district, or even the same state. But their conversations are practically identical! Do these folks listen to what they are saying to us? And where do they learn the same, ridiculous rhetoric??)
At a conference of teachers and administrators, full of professionals against a one-grade skip for our daughter: "You've got to trust us, we're educators!" -- signed I'll Trust Them As Far As I Can Throw Them
We were told that K was not ready for 1st grade because she sat quietly and read books all day. The teacher said "We have to break her of this habit". SIGH! -- Teresa
And just when you think you've heard them all...
The principal and counselor met almost-5 year-old A. for the first time as a rising 1st grader in March of Kindergarten, after A. scored 91 of 93 on their kindergarten readiness test, and well into 2nd and 3rd grade on their Woodcock Johnson. They wanted her to repeat Kindergarten, and were ready with the standard arguments about size, but were thwarted by meeting her - she's off the top of the charts for her age. The principal thought fast, and pointed out that her feet were too small for first grade. Yup, you read right. Her feet are too small. Seems all the other kids have much larger feet. She would be at a disadvantage.
I looked down at my women's size 6 sneakers, and agreed, yes, she did inherit my small feet, but they still seem to hold her up... no, I didn't think fast enough to say that. My husband and I thought of it later, on the way home. I must admit, in the heat of the moment, I just stared at my small sneakers. -- Carolyn K.
We moved from the 'shoe size' district, but the new district isn't any better. It's now recorded in her IEP that she is immature. There are five pages of reasons from sitting on the floor during free reading (when they're allowed to sit anywhere in the room) to chewing on her pencils (except that they were someone else's pencils, and someone else's teeth prints) , but my favorite is "She takes too long in the bathroom." Can you believe it?? (We found out later in the school year that she was going to the bathroom in that same class each day because the teacher took her other daily bathroom opportunities away so that she could do "pretesting" chapter by chapter in math... following which, she was not permitted to move ahead, despite all A's on the pretests!) -- Carolyn K., again.
And just when we thought we had heard it all with A... The daycare / kindergarten that skipped A. from pre-k to kindergarten for social reasons back when we were hesitant about such a move, has declared that A's little sister J. is developmentally delayed. Odd, since they don't seem to have any other 2 and a half year olds that are reading a few words or talking with such an advanced vocabulary, nor as capable on the play set - she's taught them all, even the teachers, what the brand-new rock climbing features are used for. When pressed, the director commented that she "would hold J. back a year to make up for their school accelerating A. a year. Huh? -- Carolyn K., yet again.
"Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by ignorance or stupidity." -- Asimov's Law, also attributed to Robert Heinlein (Logic of Empire, 1941)Last updated December 01, 2020Please contact Carolyn K. before reprinting any part of this page.
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