Signs of Giftedness in Parents

Other studies have shown that giftedness runs in families (Albert, 1978, 1980a, 1980b; Burks, Jensen & Terman, 1930; Hollingworth, 1926; MacKinnon, 1962); therefore, we attempted to determine evidence of giftedness in the parents. The parent questionnaires asked if either parent or any other family members had participated in IQ testing or had ever been identified as gifted. Responses to these questions were sparse; few of the parents had undergone evaluation as children, and of those who had, only a handful knew the results of testing. Although identification for classes for the gifted was rare, other indications of giftedness included skipping grades in school, placement in accelerated classes or advanced tracks, MENSA eligibility, 800 Math SAT scores, high Army Alpha scores, and being named valedictorian of their high school graduating class.

One mother had a known IQ score of 160. In one family the maternal grandmother had a reported IQ of 150 + and the paternal grandfather had a reported IQ of 160. Three others presented IQ scores, from group and individual tests, ranging from 130 to 142. One mother wrote that she and her husband had been tested several times during childhood but that this information was always kept hidden. Another mother wrote:

I remember having an IQ test in high school, but I didn't take it too seriously and apparently received a low score. I remember being called into the counselor's office because they couldn't understand the disparity between the score and my grades. (I was valedictorian.)

Impact of Extraordinarily Gifted Children On Parents

The discovery of one or more exceptionally gifted children in a family brings with it some extraordinary challenges. Some of these challenges are unique to families of very highly gifted children, and some are intensified issues that all families of the gifted face. Among these issues are:

Gaining Accurate Assessments Of High Levels of Giftedness

One unique problem for parents of highly gifted children is the impossibility of gaining accurate information about the level of their children's abilities, given the low ceilings on modem tests. Most children receive tests that generate only deviation IQs: group IQ tests, WISC-R, WPPSI, Kaufman ABC, McCarthy Scales, Stanford-Binet Revision IV. None of these tests can capture the full range of abilities of the extraordinarily gifted because the children's abilities extend beyond the upper limits of the tests. (For more detailed information on assessment issues, see Silverman, 1989.)

Seven of the children in the Maine group who had been tested on the WISC, WISC-R, WPPSI, or K-ABC intelligence tests scored between 139 and 155, with only two scoring above 145. They were then given the Stanford- Binet Intelligence Scale (Form L-M), which has a higher ceiling than these tests and yields a mental age from which a ratio IQ score can be derived. On this test, these same children scored between 169 + and 194. One child's score showed a discrepancy of more than 50 points between the K-ABC and the Stanford-Binet L-M (143 as opposed to 194); another had a similar discrepancy between the WISC (139) and the Stanford-Binet L-M (187 + ). In the Colorado group, similar discrepancies were found for the six children who had been tested on both the WISC-R and the Stanford-Binet L-M. Only one child in the 170 + range scored above 150 on the WISC-R, and another scored as low as 135.

Since the Stanford-Binet Revision IV (S-B IV) was released in 1986, many psychologists have abandoned the "old Binet," (the Stanford-Binet Form L-M). However, the S-B IV is generating dramatically lower scores for the entire gifted range. Discrepancies between scores on the new and old tests average 13.5 points at the low end of the gifted spectrum. Children who scored 135 on the L-M version scored 121 on the S-B IV (Thorndike, Hagen, & Sattler, 1986). When discrepancies exist between instruments, professionals are likely to believe the lower scores and to assume that the parents are just trying to boost their own egos by claiming that their children have higher abilities.

Because none of the current instruments properly assess the full strength of the abilities of exceptionally gifted children, alternative methods of evaluation must be sought. In the National Report on Identification (Richert, 1982), the consensus of the national task force was as follows:

It was recognized that new instruments and methods need to be developed for identification of gifted students in specific populations, (such as disadvantaged, ethnic minorities, students with limited English-speaking ability, exceptionally gifted students and handicapped students. (pp. 77-78, emphasis added)

This recommendation is already being implemented with all of the specific populations listed except one- the exceptionally gifted. In this case, an old method of identification is more appropriate than newer methods. Our recommendation is that when a child obtains three subtest scores at or near the ceiling of any current instrument, he or she should be: retested on the Stanford-Binet Form L-M. Ratio IQ scores should be completed for all children who score beyond the norms in the manual, and perhaps for those who score above 155 on the 1972 norms, because at some age levels the highest score in the norm table is 158 (Terman & Merrill, 1973).

Reactions to Testing

Finding out that one's child is profoundly gifted elicits responses similar to those of parents of the profoundly retarded. Mothers frequently cry, and fathers often question the validity of the test results. All parents feel an overwhelming responsibility for these children, and some feel inadequate to the task of meeting their needs. Sometimes denial is present (Boyer, 1989). A few fathers have made remarks such as, "She may be smart but she's also cute." When one family was told of the problem of ceiling effects that depressed their child's score, the mother responded, "That's OK; he's gifted enough. I don't want to know how much higher it is." Limited finances are usually a major concern. Unlike families of the retarded, these parents cannot rely on federal or state resources or societal support systems for assessing or serving their young.

Some parents react in a straightforward, problem-solving mode. One father responded in this way: "How did they do? What does that mean? What do we need to do about it? We'll do it." In this family, the siblings were both exceptionally gifted and achieved similar scores. The parents believed that the testing experience helped to bring their children closer together. Other parents, however, have been filled with dismay at the results. Most parents who bring their children for testing hope that the neighborhood schools will be able to serve their children's needs, and an astronomical test score can throw off all of the family's plans. One mother even worried herself into an ulcer over the situation.

Integrating the information that one has a child with exceptional needs takes a period of adjustment (Dirks, 1979). For some families, this can be a long, drawn-out period, as they try to balance the child's greater need for stimulation, the needs of other family members, and financial considerations.

Determining Appropriate Educational Provisions

Schooling has been a major concern for almost all of the families in both groups. The issue addressed at the first meeting of the Colorado group was, "What are you doing about school for your child?" Problems in schooling affected 13 of the 15 children in Maine. Most of the parents found it necessary to advise the schools about the types of adaptations needed for their children. Because school personnel rarely knew what to do with these children, the parents had to become informed themselves of the potential options, and then they had to educate the educators. Some parents were told by administrators to place their children in private schools because the public schools could not accommodate children such as these.

The provisions attempted by these families included homeschooling, radical acceleration, private schools for the gifted, enrichment classes, correspondence courses, and dual enrollment at two levels (e.g., elementary and junior high, or high school and college). Many of the families became involved in advocacy groups, working to increase public awareness, encourage the development of full-time special classes in the public schools, and lobby for appropriate legislation.

Acceleration was the primary mode of adaptation for the Maine group, whereas many parents in the Colorado group chose private schools. The picture in Colorado changed over a 3-year period as the public schools began to offer more self-contained classes for the gifted. Three families in each group homeschooled their children for at least a year. Fathers in two of the Maine families were directly involved in teaching their children. Two of the families in the Colorado group formed a joint homeschool for their five: children; both mothers were trained as teachers.

Determining the proper placement for their children has been an ongoing source of stress in these families. Many of the children were barred from early entrance to public school and were prevented from accelerating. Educators strongly urged parents to keep their children with same-age peers even though the children preferred older playmates. When the children were unhappy at school, there was a spill-over effect on the entire family. Often, the child would start the year eager and happy in a situation, then quickly move beyond the curriculum so that a new plan would have to be formed midyear. Trying to meet the diverse needs of a child with a 9-year-old mind and a 5-year-old body is no easy task.

Financial Stress

Exceptionally gifted children are costly to rear. The extra costs start sooner, last longer, and mount higher than they do with less gifted children. These children have many interests, any of which, with proper guidance, might lead to high levels of adult achievement. But private lessons are expensive, and which interests are the best ones to nurture? Some families had to choose to develop one child's talents at the expense of the talents of other siblings. Then there is the question of private schools. Is it better for mother to go back to work so that the family can afford to send a child to a private school, or for her to stay at home and provide extra stimulation to a child who is bored in the regular classroom? What if there isn't enough money for all the children to attend a private school? Is it fair to send "the one who needs it the most" at the expense of the other siblings?

The Colorado families at one time had access to (is many as seven private schools for the gifted, ranging in price from $2,500 to $6,000 per year per child. Almost no scholarships existed at these schools. Parents had to decide whether to save money for these children's college education or spend it on their development in early childhood.

The families in Maine had no access to private schools for the gifted. Acceleration became the most explored avenue, which led to early college expenses with no scholarship assistance for underage students and difficulty in obtaining federal financial aid. Enrichment opportunities, such as music lessons, were used to supplement school offerings, but these were too costly for some families. In the rural environment, additional costs were incurred for transportation as well. One family from a small town felt guilty that they could not afford to provide all the books that their child requested.

Bloom (1985) described the financial sacrifices faced by the families he studied. One family purchased a grand piano for their son instead of a much needed family car. The financial strain of the needs of exceptional children are difficult for even upper middle-class families to bear. What Hollingworth (1940a) wrote a half-century ago is still true today:

To subsidize a young person through a first-rate preparation for a learned profession, and to establish him or her therein, costs thousands of dollars. A great many highly gifted children are at present shut out from the careers appropriate to their powers, for lack of money. (p. 101)

Perhaps one day state and federal assistance will be available to these families, and a scholarship fund like the one Leta Hollingworth (1939) envisioned decades ago.

Lack of Societal Support

Both monetary and emotional support are available to parents of children with other exceptionalities; the more extreme the exceptionality, the greater the amount of support. Just the opposite is true for the gifted. From the time their children are small, parents of extremely gifted children face a series of obstacles. Onlookers react with disbelief and disdain when a 3-year-old reads the menu or the food labels at the grocery store; they assume that the child's precocity is the result of a "pushy parent." Parents find that they have to refrain from discussing the accomplishments of their children with their neighbors. Schools resist modifying the curriculum for an exceptionally precocious child. Educational rules and regulations become a set of barriers to the child's progress. In some cases, parents have had to fight to have laws changed-such as the legal age for school entrance, the grade at which Carnegie units can be gained, compulsory school attendance laws, replacement of college credits for high school credits, high school diploma requirements, the age at which the General Equivalency Diploma (GED) examination can be taken, and so on. Early college entrants find themselves without the kind of financial support available to older students. One child who became a National Merit Finalist at age 11 received invitations to attend several major colleges, but not one offered her financial assistance.

Society as an impediment instead of an aid to the highly gifted has led to some rather amusing parental responses. To meet the needs of their child, parents of the exceptionally gifted sometimes resort to "benign chicanery." This is a survival technique that was highly recommended by Leta Hollingworth. In her autobiographical sketch, she described herself as "honest except for those benign chicaneries which are occasionally necessary when authority is stupid" (194Gb, p. 35). And in one of her last articles, Hollingworth (1939) commented:

Perhaps the arts of benign chicanery are absolutely necessary to a child of highest intelligence, compelled to find his spiritual way through mass education (p. 145).

The benign chicaneries we have observed include adjusted birth certificates, parents "separating" so that a child could qualify to attend school in a certain district, "moving" to a state with a more lenient age requirement for school entrance and then moving back and transferring the child, and creatively interpreting children's ages to enable them to attend activities designed for older students ("I just listed her mental age instead of her chronological age!").

Living with Intensely Gifted Children

Intensity and sensitivity are characteristics that were mentioned in 16 of the 23 parent questionnaires in the Colorado group, and perfectionism was noted in 11 cases. These three qualities appear to be generally descriptive of this population (Silverman, 1983; Kline & Meckstroth, 1985; Webb, Meckstroth, & Tolan, 1982). What is it like to live with intense, sensitive, perfectionistic children? And what if the parents also fit this description? One would hardly expect to find calm, peaceful households in these cases. Add to these personality factors the findings that half of these children are "highly energetic," a third of them need very little sleep, and most are argumentative. Welcome to living opera!

From his review of the literature on creative and eminent adults, Albert (1978) concluded:

The consensus of these studies is that the creative person-to-be comes from a family that is anything but harmonious--one which has built into its relationships, its organization of roles, and its levels of communication a good deal of tension if not disturbances at times, what I term a "wobble." (p. 203)

Although exceptionally gifted families may be a bit "wobbly," from our observations they are also very exciting and alive. Mothers of these children tend to be highly verbal and energetic. They need great stamina given their children's high energy levels and their penchant for not sleeping. One mother commented recently at a conference: "When other babies were getting 12 hours of sleep, I was lucky if he slept 6 hours. I figured he was smarter than other children his age because he had been awake twice as long." Parents of intensely gifted, non-sleeping children tend to be very tired.

The Early Empty Nest

Acceleration has the almost inevitable result of children leaving home earlier for college. In our studies, parents who accelerated their children believed that they had done what was best for their children and had no regrets. But it also meant that the parents would experience a sense of loss--of being cheated out of a year or more of parenting. They began to see the implications of acceleration in family terms, not just in educational terms, and it often hit them an at once. The parents had put so much energy for so many years into advocacy, fighting city hall, arranging appropriate placements, activities, and transportation--and then all of a sudden their children were "grown up" and gone. The family life cycle was compressed. One mother, who realized one day that her already accelerated son would complete 4 years of high school credits in 3 years, exclaimed, "Another year just evaporated!" Early empty nest requires a major adjustment for many families of exceptionally gifted children.

Rhodes (1988), from the Program for Exceptionally Gifted Girls at Mary Baldwin College, suggested that networking with other parents in similar situations helps parents deal with early separation issues. She has noted that parents of the highly gifted are often their children's best friends-sometimes, only friends--and this "over involvement" can make the separation especially difficult. She recommends that mothers develop a "growth plan" for themselves at the same time that they are helping their accelerated child plan for his or her future. She also advises parents to gradually wean themselves from the problem-solving role in their adolescent's life, placing more and more of the responsibility for decision making on the young person.

In this way, the young person learns that he or she is a competent problem solver, and the parent becomes more of an advisor when needed. As the parents shift from foreground to background in the gifted adolescent's life, the transition to early college entrance becomes easier for both the child and the parents.

Gifted Children, Gifted Parents

The realization that one has extraordinarily gifted children often means facing one's own giftedness, sometimes for the first time. A child asked a professional expert, "How do you get gifted?" The speaker went into a whole explanation about nature and nurture, and the child told her she was wrong. "First I was tested, then my brothers and sisters were tested, and now even my mother thinks she's gifted. So our parents get it from us."

One father, deeply moved by the testing experience, sought counseling to understand his own abilities. As a child he had shown the same signs of extraordinary precocity as his son, and yet his had never been recognized. His gifts went unutilized. When his son was tested, he realized his own pattern of underachievement and began to set new aspirations for himself. Many of the mothers of these children still deny their own giftedness, crediting their husbands' genetic endowment as the source of their children's abilities. Sometimes, convincing these mothers that they too had something to do with their children's talents is difficult. If their conception of giftedness is based on achievement, they cannot recognize their own giftedness. After all, whoever heard of a "gifted mommy"?

Nurturing Self, Nurturing Others

As the occupational training of the mothers in our sample revealed, about one third of the women were using their training in their current employment. Although the mothers in the Colorado group were as well educated as their husbands, almost half of them chose the occupation of full-time parent--at least during the time of this study. All but five of the Maine mothers were full-time homemakers. None of the fathers in either group had made that choice. What does foregoing her career in favor of the needs of her family mean for a gifted woman? Hollingworth (1926) was deeply concerned with the choices gifted women had to make.

Stated briefly, "the woman question" is how to reproduce the species and at the same time to work, and realize work's full reward, in accordance with individual ability. This is a question primarily of the gifted, for the discontent with and resentment against women's work have originated chiefly among women exceptionally well endowed with intellect. (pp. 348-349)

Having exceptionally gifted children often does not leave a woman enough time to devote to the full development of both her children and herself. Some women are exceptionally energetic and able to maintain a career while rearing a family, but this arrangement is most effective when support systems are available, such as a husband who is a devoted father, extended family, grandparents who live close by, live-in help, or excellent childcare assistance.

Another perspective on this issue is presented by Piechowski (in press):

Clearly, it is nearly impossible to invest oneself in a demanding career and equally in raising a talented child, unless we view it as a division of labor between the career-absorbed father and the gifted child-centered mother....The great achievers and the eminent as a role have a parent or mentor especially devoted to them (Albert, 1980b). No doubt it takes considerable dedication and integrity to live for the child but not through the child, to cherish and guide rather than to want to own. Thus the nurturing generations appear to be necessary to the achieving ones. The idea behind this view is simply to acknowledge the great importance of those who nurture the talents of their children. (p. 25, emphasis added)

We have met many mothers who feel a deep sense of fulfillment in their role as parents, despite the many other paths their lives might have taken. Gifted themselves in many other ways, these mothers have made the choice to become gifted nurturers. Our society has not highly' valued this choice. It is time to recognize the enormous contribution to society made by mothers who devote their lives to the development of their gifted children.

Implications and Directions for Further Study

From this study and others, it is apparent that the population includes a much larger number of extraordinarily gifted children than anyone realizes. The exceptionally gifted population does not fit the normal curve; it has its own distribution (Jensen, 1980). Given this information, deviation IQ scores, based upon the normal curve, are inappropriate when applied to this group. Mental ages and ratio IQs have been abandoned in current assessment procedures, but until some other method of assessing the highly gifted becomes available, we have to resurrect both these constructs and the tests with sufficient ceilings to capture the full extent of these children's abilities.

This increased awareness of the high number of exceptionally gifted children also has implications for families, schools and society. It is the only extreme exceptionality that remains essentially unserved in our schools. It is the only extreme exceptionality for which no financial assistance exists for parents. No efforts are being made to gain a census of this population or to develop appropriate assessment tools; test constructors openly admit that their tests are unsuited to this group (Silverman, 1986). We have to promote awareness of the plight of these children and their families, and make active efforts to remove the legal and traditional obstacles to their progress.

More has to be known about exceptionally gifted children and their families. We need to study the personality patterns of their parents and learn more about the extent of giftedness in the entire family. We need to understand the impact of highly gifted children on the family system and on the life plans of parents. And we need to study, acknowledge, and support the generation of nurturers that gives rise to the next generation of achievers. This is a whole new territory to be explored.

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