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Peer Rejection

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Bullies and Bullying

Precocity unavoidably complicates the problem of social adjustment. The child of eight years of age with a mentality of twelve or fourteen is faced with a situation almost inconceivably difficult. In order to adjust normally such a child has to have an exceptionally well-balanced personality and be well nigh a social genius. The higher the IQ, the more acute the problem. Lewis M. Terman, The Gifted Child, in "A Handbook of Child Psychology," 1931
Keeping Students with Disabilities Safe from Bullying Recommended U.S. Department of Education
ED’s Office of Special Education and Rehabilitative Services (OSERS) issued guidance to educators and stakeholders on the matter of bullying of students with disabilities. ...an overview of school districts’ responsibilities to ensure that students with disabilities who are subject to bullying continue to receive free appropriate public education (FAPE) under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA). States and school districts are obligated to ensure that students with disabilities receive FAPE in the least restrictive environment (LRE). This guidance explains that any bullying of a student with disabilities which results in the student not receiving meaningful educational benefit is considered a denial of FAPE. Furthermore, this letter notes that certain changes to an educational program of a student with a disability (e.g., placement in a more restricted “protected” setting to avoid bullying behavior) may constitute a denial of FAPE...
Trauma-Proofing Your Kids: A Parents' Guide for Instilling Confidence, Joy and Resilience Recommended by Peter A. Levine and Maggie Kline
An antidote to trauma and a recipe for creating resilient kids no matter what misfortune has besieged them, a treasure trove of simple-to-follow “stress-busting,” boundary-setting, sensory/motor-awareness activities that counteract trauma’s effect on a child’s body, mind and spirit. Includes a chapter on how to navigate the inevitable difficulties that arise during the various ages and stages of development, this book simplifies an often mystifying and complex subject, empowering parents to raise truly confident and joyful kids despite stressful and turbulent times...
Just Kidding (boys, young elementary age) Recommended by Trudy Ludwig
D.J.'s friend Vince has a habit of teasing D.J. and then saying, Just kidding!" as if it will make everything okay. It doesn't, but D.J. is afraid that if he protests, his friends will think he can't take a joke. With the help of his father, brother, and an understanding teacher, D.J. progresses from feeling helpless to taking positive action, undermining the power of two seemingly harmless words...
My Secret Bully (young elementary age) Recommended by Trudy Ludwig
The all-too-familiar story of Monica. She and Katie have been friends since kindergarten. Monica loves being around her when she's nice. But there are times when Katie can be just plain mean. And Monica doesn't understand why.  Monica is a target of relational aggression, emotional bullying among friends who will use name-calling and manipulation to humiliate and exclude. But with a little help from a supportive adult—her mother—Monica learns to cope and thrive by facing her fears and reclaiming power from her bully...
Trouble Talk (girls, young elementary age) Recommended by Trudy Ludwig
Maya's friend Bailey loves to talk about everything and everyone. At first, Maya thinks Bailey is funny. But when Bailey's talk leads to harmful rumors and hurt feelings, Maya begins to think twice about their friendship...  Ludwig acquaints readers with the damaging consequences of "trouble talk"--talking to others about someone else's troubles in order to establish connection and gain attention. Includes additional resources for kids, parents, and teachers, as well as advice about how to combat trouble talk.
The Weird Series (elementary age) Recommended by Erin Frankel
Great series for group discussion or individual bibliotherapy on this important topic. The books tell the story of an ongoing case of bullying from three third graders’ perspectives. Luisa describes being targeted by bullying in Weird! Jayla shares her experience as a bystander to bullying in Dare! And in Tough!, Sam speaks from the point of view of someone initiating bullying. Kids will easily relate to Luisa, Jayla, and Sam, as each girl has her own unique experience, eventually learning how to face her challenges with the help of friends, peers, and caring adults...
Bullies Are a Pain in the Brain by Trevor Romain
This book for kids and teens blends humor with serious, practical suggestions for coping with bullies - And if bullies happen to read this book, they'll find ideas they can use too!
The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander: From Preschool to High School: How Parents and Teachers Can Help Break the Cycle of Violence by Barbara Coloroso
Explains not only the ways that the bully, the bullied and the bystander are "three characters in a tragic play," but also how "the scripts can be rewritten, new roles created, the plot changed." For each of the three "characters," she breaks down the behavior that defines each role, analyzes the specific ways that each character can have their behaviors changed for the better, and suggests a range of methods to identify bullying behavior and deal with it effectively...
iFree bully reporting site, but even more useful...  Don't miss The Poker Face and 101 Comebacks!
Bullying & cyberbullying, especially vs. gay youth WHYY Radio Program
Statistics indicate that lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer students, known collectively by the acronym LGBTQ, are 4 times more likely to kill themselves than the rest of the population. And when those students are rejected by their families and/or kicked out of their homes, LGBTQ students are 9 times more likely to kill themselves than their peers...
Bullying: A Module for Teachers by Sandra Graham, American Psychological Association
Bullying by peers can have long-term effects on students’ academic achievement. Commonly labeled as peer victimization or peer harassment, school bullying is defined as repeated physical, verbal or psychological abuse of victims by perpetrators who intend to cause them harm...
Bullying Among Children and Youth by Susan P. Limber and Maury M. Nation
Not only does bullying harm both its intended victims and the perpetrators, it also may affect the climate of schools and, indirectly, the ability of all students to learn to the best of their abilities. Evaluation data suggest that adopting a comprehensive approach to reduce bullying at school can change students' behaviors and attitudes, reduce other antisocial behaviors, and increase teachers' willingness to intervene...
Bullying: A Series in the Kennebec Journal / Morning Sentinel
From Battling the bullies, and Survey details effect on third-graders, to From the bully's perspective, and Bullies learn from what they see, plus good resources...
Bullying Among the Gifted: The Subjective Experience by Jean Sunde Peterson and Karen E. Ray, in Gifted Child Quarterly
Gifted children and adolescents are clearly not exempt from being bullied or being bullies. Bullying may not bode well for a bully’s future mental health or behavior, and being bullied can be highly distressing for victims, regardless of number of incidents. However, also important are the findings that victims may suffer in silence, assume responsibility for stopping it, despair when it continues, and think violent thoughts. Carefully considered systemic interventions are most promising in curbing peer abuse among school children in general and of and by gifted students in particular... (free download with Gifted Child Quarterly or Athens subscription, otherwise available for a per price article)
Bullying In Schools and What To Do About It by Ken Rigby
A passionate and motivating book that policy makers, school administrators, teachers, doctors, and parents will find invaluable
Bullying of gifted children: Giftedness, tall poppy syndrome and bullying by teachers on BullyOnline, web site of the UK National Workplace Bullying Advice
Bullies are driven by jealousy and envy so it's hardly surprising that gifted children are targeted. Occasionally, exceptionally able children are targeted and bullied by a less-than-gifted teacher...
Cyberbullying and Sexting: Technology Abuses of the 21st Century by Del Seigle, Gifted Child Today
Parents and educators play an important role in helping young people understand the consequences of poor decisions in a digital age where favorable, as well as unfavorable, text and images spread exponentially...
Developing an Anti-Bullying Program: Increasing Safety, Reducing Violence by Juvenile Justice, Issue One
An Effective Response: The Olweus Bullying Prevention Program. 
optimally, communities as well...
bulletIdentifying at-risk students and intervening.
bulletTeaching students skills and knowledge that promote social and emotional competence and provide a
foundation for reflective learning and non-violent problem solving.
bulletDeveloping systemic interventions that create safer, more caring and responsive school environments and,
Gifted children especially vulnerable to effects of bullying study by Jean Peterson, Purdue University
Bullying in the gifted-student population is an overlooked problem that leaves many of these students emotionally shattered, making them more prone to extreme anxiety, dangerous depression and sometimes violence...
Gifted and Tormented: Academic Stars Often Bullied -- and More Likely to Suffer Emotionally as a Result by Sandra G. Boodman, Washington Post
All children are affected adversely by bullying, but gifted children differ from other children in significant ways, and what they experience may be qualitatively different... the personality traits and interests of many gifted children may make them targets of bullying by their classmates. At the same time, she added, gifted children may be more susceptible to the emotional damage that bullying can inflict...
Good-Bye Bully Machine by Debbie Fox and Allan L. Beane
Kids can see how bullying makes the machine grow more imposing, while kind behaviors dismantle it. Through the machine, kids gain awareness of their role in bullying, whether they are targets, bullies, bystanders—or all three... (ages 9-12)
Hot Issues, Cool Choices: Facing Bullies, Peer Pressure, Popularity, and Put-downs by Sandra McLeod Humphrey
Brief stories on bullying topics, including exclusion, name-calling, bystander dilemmas, cyber-bullying and more.  Great for classroom or family discussion, with questions and role-play suggestions following each story
How Rude!: The Teenagers' Guide to Good Manners, Proper Behavior, and Not Grossing People Out by Alex J. Packer
Includes an extensive section on dealing with teasing, or verbal bullying
Myths and misperceptions about school bullying on BullyOnline.com
Overcoming stereotypes and false perceptions of school bullying and child bullying, including such myths as There's no bullying here, Ignore it, Victims of bullying become too flustered to deflect bullies with humour, and many more...
New ways to stop bullying by Nicole Crawford
Mediation programs for bullies and victims are also problematic. Peer mediation may be appropriate in resolving conflict between students with equal power, but "bullying is a form of victimization," she says. "It's no more of a 'conflict' than child abuse or domestic violence..." The most effective strategies to stop bullying involve "the entire school as a community to change the climate of the school and the norms of behavior," she says. This is why her institute promotes the Olweus Bullying Prevention Program...
Parents sue districts to stop bullies at schools by Heather Hollingsworth, AP
More and more parents are taking school officials to court for failing to stop other youngsters from bullying their children. A growing body of research highlights the long-term negative effects of bullying, which can range from diminished self-esteem to declining grades and depression...
Peace Games
Peace Games empowers students to create their own safe classrooms and communities by forming partnerships with elementary schools, families, and young adult volunteers.  Teach kids to solve the problems, before they begin!
Peer Rejection... Almost Bullying by Charlotte Riggle
Some things I've told my kids when they were having peer problems...  First, I have explained the developmental nature of peer nastiness...  Second, I have explained, explicitly, that everyone else feels the same way... Third...
Practical Strategies for Sensitive Souls by Lizette Campbell
Assists parents to recognise and manage low levels of teasing, bullying or distress within the gifted child's everyday environment. Most typically this will occur at school, though it could occur at any sporting or social event. It can occur even within the kindest and most understanding families!
Raven Days
For a few students in every school, school is as unsafe as it can be. These students are regularly attacked by their classmates, physically as well as psychologically... These are scary stories, but unfortunately true
Schools Where Everyone Belongs: Practical Strategies for Reducing Bullying by Stan Davis
Outlines research on effective bullying prevention interventions and presents specific practices and skills that help schools implement that research...
Stakes rise as bullying grows more serious by Stephan Buttry, Omaha World-Herald
Jessi was smart, another common factor in bullying. "She didn't want people to know she was smart," her mother said.  A prolific writer who kept a journal, Jessi planned to attend Stanford University, then Harvard Law Schoo. She wrote about marvelous devices she planned to invent. She dreamed of being a ballerina, an opera singer, a vaccine scientist, a Supreme Court justice...
Sticks and Stones: 7 Ways Your Child Can Deal with Teasing, Conflict, and Other Hard Times by Scott Cooper
Words can hurt. Adults can teach children how to defend themselves against those painful taunts. Cooper offers a "tool kit" of methods and exercises to give children ways to express themselves assertively, respond to blame and teasing, resolve conflicts, and talk confidently in social conversations--all while enhancing their communication skills and self-awareness...
Stop Bullying Now
Links on this site will lead you through an exploration of interventions that work to reduce bullying in schools...
Study: Gifted Students Become Bully Magnets
Bullying in the gifted-student population is an overlooked problem that leaves many of these students emotionally shattered, making them more prone to extreme anxiety, dangerous depression and sometimes violence, according to a Purdue University researcher.  In what is believed to be the first major study of bullying and gifted students, researchers found that by eighth grade, more than two-thirds of gifted students had been victims...
Taking the Bully by the Horns by Kathy Noll and Jay Carter
This is the kids version of Jay Carter's Nasty People
Teachers Who Bully Students: Patterns and Policy Implications by Alan McEvoy
Although most professional educators are ethical in their conduct, bullying of students by teachers needs to be recognized as a problem. Even if only a few teachers engage in this behavior within a school, the consequences for school climate and for fulfilling the institution’s educational mission are profound. Perhaps the most troubling finding of this investigation is perceived institutional collusion through inaction when bullying incidents are known.  In the absence of an effective institutional response to bullying, a small number of bullies can do enormous harm... (requires Adobe Reader)
'Teaseproof' Your Kids by Jim Fay
We think to ourselves, “Why can’t the school people protect my child? The sad truth is that the more a teacher protects the child who is teased, the more resentful and aggressive the other children become. A teacher who tells kids to be nice to a specific child actually “marks” that youngster and sets him/her up for more intense rejection and ridicule. When it comes to teasing, the only person who can protect your child from teasing is your child... (requires Adobe Reader)
Teasing and gifted children by Patricia A. Schuler
Many gifted children and adolescents are targets of teasing and bullying. Some of their peers and teachers may perceive them as "too verbal", "too bossy", "too smart," "too nerdy." Because gifted children and adolescents tend to be highly sensitive to others, their reactions to being teased are extremely intense...
Vicious: True Stories by Teens About Bullying edited by Hope Venderburg of Youth Communication
Essays by teens address bullying: physical, verbal, relational, and cyber. These stories will appeal to readers because the cruelty and hurt are unmistakably real - and the reactions of the writers are sometimes cringe-worthy, often admirable, and always believable...
What can I do if I am being bullied? by KidScape
For kids: Everyone needs help sometimes and asking for help to stop bullying doesn't mean that you are weak or a failure. Telling about bullying isn't 'telling tales'  (Follow the question links down the left column...)
What's Bullying? by www.NoBully.org
For kids: What is bullying? Why do people bully? Why is it harmful? Are you a bully?
When lunch hour turns into 'Lord of the Flies'
Thousands of kids miss school for fear of being attacked or harassed
by C. W. Nevius, SFGate.home (San Francisco Chronicle on-line)
According to a survey by the National Crime Prevention Council, "six out of 10 teens see school bullying once a day." Well, that's just a little normal teasing, isn't it? Not really...
You Can't Say You Can't Play by Vivian Gussin Paley , or read Harvard's full review  You Can't Say You Can't Play
In this brief, ethereal and tender account of social relations among children, Paley--a kindergarten teacher at the University of Chicago Laboratory Schools, a MacArthur grant recipient and the author of The Boy Who Would Be a Helicopter and The Girl with the Brown Crayon --explores how to keep students from being ignored by their classmates...
Last updated December 01, 2020

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